


Damaged

by verprovoke



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Trans Male Character, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 16:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23930284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verprovoke/pseuds/verprovoke
Summary: Estinien was... worried.And he wasn't sure how to deal with that.
Relationships: Warrior of Light/Estinien Wyrmblood
Kudos: 21
Collections: Jai and tol bois





	Damaged

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how this happened but here we are.  
> edit: this was originally gonna be 2 parts but its been a year and the inspo is gone LOL

Estinien was… worried.

It wasn’t a feeling he was used to yet, but with the target of his unending vengeance dead, he was slowly remembering how to feel anything at all. His goal, his very _purpose_ was gone and he didn’t know what to do.

It didn’t help matters that he was trapped in a recovery bed with nothing but his thoughts. He had visitors, obviously. Alphinaud was a talkative thorn in his side as usual and Aymeric came by when he could. Even Dante had stopped by, though the two rarely traded much in the way of words.

The only one who hadn’t visited him was Jai. If it were anyone else, he wouldn’t care at all, but Jai had never been one to abandon a friend unless something was wrong.  
When the two had become _friends_ still eluded him, but Jai was almost sickeningly nice and impossible to hate. So the idea that the Miqo’te wouldn’t come to visit him was simply impossible.

“Where is Jai?” he asked Aymeric one day, finally tired of wondering. “I have not seen him.”

Aymeric’s shoulders tensed before he let out a breath. “He is… recovering.”

Estinien cocked an eyebrow. “It’s been a week. How bad were his injuries?”

“Extensive.” Aymeric closed his book, placing it on the stand next to Estinien’s bed. “We almost lost him. He managed to get the eye off of you before finally passing out. He was out for two days.”

“What did I do?” Estinien knew he was responsible. He just _knew_.

“ _Nidhogg_ ,” Aymeric stressed with narrowed eyes, causing Estinien to roll his eyes and huff. “Nearly sliced him in half. He’ll scar, there is no doubt of that, but he seems to have… other injuries. The conjurers that saw him won’t tell anyone what they are yet, but it seems severe if they wish to keep secret.”

Estinien gripped his blanket tightly. “Where is he? What room?”

“He was released earlier today. He’s _supposed_ to be at the Fortemps Manor, but whether or not he _is_ , I know not.” He tilted his head towards the door. “If you wish to visit him, I’d suggest the Forgotten Knight. He has a room there as well.”

“I’m not supposed to leave, remember?”

Aymeric grinned. “I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Estinien laughed loudly. “I knew there was a reason we were friends.”

***

Within an hour, Estinien was in front of what he was told to be Jai’s inn room. He rapped the back of his knuckle on the door and tapped his foot restlessly as he waited for Jai to answer. It didn’t take long, thank the Gods, before the short white mage was opening the door to look up at him in surprise.

“Estinien? What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

Estinien muscled his way inside the room, catching Jai’s shoulders to steady him when he almost knocked the smaller man over. “I have been told you should be resting as well, but I see you’ve learned a bad habit from me.”

Jai shrugged off the dragoon’s hands and looked away, his ears flicking in irritation. “I’m fine. Still a little sore, maybe, but they’re exaggerating.”

“From what I heard, you nearly died.” And oh did those words hurt to say. 

“I…” Jai bit his lip, an obvious sign he was about to lie. The Miqo’te had terrible signs. “I’m fine,” he responded slowly. “You were worse off, I’m sure.”

“That does not matter!” Estinien gritted his teeth, trying to quell his anger. The man in front of him _never_ took his own problems seriously. Before, Estinien could ignore it; it worked in his favor after all. But now, that was behind him. “If you were so _fine_ then why did you not come visit me?”

Jai glared up at him, which is when Estinien finally noticed the bandage over his right eye. “Is that what you’re here about? Did I offend you?”

“No, that’s not-”

“Then _why_? Did you come here to yell at me? Because I’ve had just about enough of that lately. I was careless. I get it. I don’t need _you_ of all people to tell me that too.”

“I did not come here to yell!” Estinien winced at his response and blew out a breath to calm himself. “I was… worried.”

Jai blinked and backed up a bit. “Worried? About what?”

“About you, you godsdamn moron.”

“...Why?”

“Why?! I hear you, the swiving Warrior of Light, nearly died and you wonder why I would be worried?”

“I told you, they were exaggerating-”

Estinien practically forced Jai against the wall, his arm above the Miqo’te’s head. “If they were exaggerating, why did Aymeric look terrified? If they were exaggerating, why can you barely look me in the eye? Like you don’t want to look at the man that nearly killed you.”

“That’s not-”

“Show me.”

Jai gulped, averting his gaze. “Show you what?”

“Show me the scar. Show me this _exaggeration_.”

Jai looked back at him with a glare. “Are you telling me to strip for you?”

Estinien actually felt his cheeks heat. He couldn’t deny the idea held appeal, but not like this. “I just want to check your injuries. As a friend.”

Jai nibbled his lower lip. “Fine. Just… turn around first. Please.”

Estinien wanted to argue that Jai had nothing he hadn’t seen, but decided to respect the man’s wishes. He pushed himself away from the wall and turned around. Within a minute he heard cloth hitting the ground.

“Okay, you can turn around now.”

Estinien turned back. The first surprise was the tight breast band around Jai’s chest. Jai was looking away like he was ashamed, but Estinien didn’t dwell on that aspect for long. Not when there was a huge jagged scar that ran from his chest down to his hip. It was still pink and obviously healing.

And obviously caused by Nidhogg’s claw.

“Gods above, Jai. How are you walking?”

Jai shrugged, reaching for his shirt again. “It looks worse than it is.”

“Then it still must be excruciating, because it looks like a fatal wound.”

Jai sighed. “It almost was, but I managed to hold it together long enough to get the eye off of you, so it’s fine.”

Estinien felt those words like a fist to his gut. “You _held yourself together _?”__

“It took a lot of aether, but yes. I was a good white mage, thank you very much.” 

__It took a moment for the words to sink in but… “Was?”_ _

__Jai cursed under his breath. “Ignore that.”_ _

_...but he seems to have… other injuries. The conjurers that saw him won’t tell anyone what they are yet, but it seems severe if they wish to keep secret._

__“Your aether is damaged.”_ _

__Jai’s shoulders tensed. “Who told you?”_ _

__“No one, I simply guessed correctly.” He moved closer again. “Let me see your eye.”_ _

__Jai finally looked fearful. “No!”_ _

__Estinien held the man’s chin in his grip gently, trying to be soothing. Well, the best attempt he could make. “Please, Jai. I wish to see.”_ _

__A moment passed. 2. 3. Jai finally nodded and Estinien let out a breath of relief before untying the bandage covering his eye. Once Jai blinked, he saw it. Jai’s right eye was completely white, the pupil almost hidden completely._ _

__“Gods above.” Estinien moved his thumb under the damaged eye. “What did I do to you?”_ _

__“You didn’t do anything, Estinien. Nidhogg did.”_ _

__“If I hadn’t lost control-”_ _

__“Wash your armor next time.”_ _

__That surprised a laugh out of the dragoon, who moved to rest his head on Jai’s. “You’re not the first to tell me that.”_ _

__“Then you should listen.” Estinien moved back, glad to see a smile on Jai’s face. “Thank you. For worrying about me.”_ _

__“You have no need to thank me for that.” He chuckled. “Since you do not seem to, I will take that burden from you.”_ _

__“Why?”_ _

“Because…” Estinien blew out a rough breath, rubbing his thumb over Jai’s cheek. “Because it’s _you_ and by the Fury, I am madly in love with you.” 

__Jai’s eyes widened, his ears flicking rabidly. “You’re… what?”_ _

__“Must I repeat myself?” He lifted Jai’s chin to stare into his eyes. “I love you. I think I have for a long time, but I wanted you to heal after Haurchefant.” He laughed quietly. “And let’s be honest, I was in no position to offer you anything worthwhile either.”_ _

__“I just… Why me? You could have anyone! You’re the godsdamn Azure Dragoon! I’m just-”_ _

__“A Warrior of Light?” Estinien responded with a cocked eyebrow. “I think your title far surpasses mine.”_ _

__Jai shook his head. “I’m really not, though. I’m a soldier. Nothing more.”_ _

__“Well, you’re a soldier I’m honored to have at my side.” He leaned closer. “And I’d be honored if you wanted to be more.”_ _

__Jai looked away for a moment before nodding and looking back. “I… I think I’d like that.”_ _

__Estinien smiled as he kissed Jai, lightly holding the back of the man’s head. He ran his fingers through Jai’s shaggy hair and revealed in the shudder that he felt. He pulled away slightly, leaving their lips close. “You like that?”_ _

__Jai laughed nervously. “Yeah. There’s a reason I keep it kinda long.”_ _

__“Good to know.” He forced himself away, but his hand lingered on Jai’s head. “As much as I’d love to continue, I fear we both must recover a bit more.”_ _

__Jai’s face darkened adorably, his ears lowering against his head. “Y-Yeah. That’s a-a good idea.”_ _

__Estinien moved towards the door, ready to say his goodbyes when he felt a hand tug on his wrist. He turned to see Jai biting his lip and averting his eyes._ _

__“Stay? Just to sleep. I don’t… I don’t want to go to bed alone tonight.”_ _

__Estinien smiled. “I can think of nothing I’d rather do.”_ _

__The smile Jai gave him made any anger the healers might have for him completely worth it._ _

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see me yell about my son, follow me @verprovoke on twitter!


End file.
